#43 – Tim Ferris – Modern Wisdom Podcast
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QUOTES:
Effectiveness is what you do, efficiency is how you do something. But doing something well does not make it important or high leverage
In learning a language, if you learn 1000 highest frequency words, you're going to be conversationally fluent, choosing that subset of vocabulary and then studying it at a B minus level is better than choosing the wrong set of vocabulary and studying at an A+ level
I think it's very easy to mistake motion for progress
As long as you choose the highest leverage tasks, or as long as you have a system for choosing what is important, then over time you can snowball your way into a long-term success
What you work on is more important than how you work on it
How can I succeed even if I fail?
I don't view the failure of any given project as a failure as long as there are things developed that can transfer forward into other things
As long as you're looking at evaluating your accomplishment over a longer period of time, 3 years, 5 years, and you're viewing things as experiments as opposed to successes or failures, then it's all feedback, you can always learn
I'm attempting to be the only and not the best
The progression is your state -> story about yourself -> your strategy. So, if you are in a low energy state or a negative state, you're going to create a disabling story, or a critical, or cynical story which will then impact your strategy. So, I always start with state, and then you will have a more enabling story, and that will enable you to have a better strategy at least for the day
It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting
If you're getting a lot of interruptions that you need to handle yourself as a firefighter, then you have a process issue
People are always going to tell you “you're too late”
The key takeaway for my daily routine is having at least 3 hours in a block of time, uninterrupted, where you can focus on one or two of your highest leverage tasks which have been defined beforehand
There are things that you need to do that you aren't going to want to do
The fun stuff – doing the interviews – that's the upside of the job you chose, but the actual work that pays for that are all the little things you don't want to do
My mind is like a Border collie, you leave it inside too long, it's going to chew the couch, so you got to get out and move the body in some capacity
If you are compromising your walking, you are compromising your mental health
I'm not a super sleeper, I'm not someone who wakes up four hours after going to bed feeling fully refreshed
What did you think would make you happy when you were younger but didn't? I would say the short answer is money. For sure I grew up in a family without very much money, and there was a narrative that I heard a lot at home “if only we had more money.” And a lot of problems were related to money. But I came to translate that into – if I have success which I need, I can prevent the pain, and problems, and friction, and handicaps that we currently have in this family. Money is a vehicle for doing certain things, preventing certain things, but it doesn't fix the inner game. It's an amplifier. It amplifies whatever is inside, the good and the bad. If you're generous, you're going to be super generous. If you're a jerk, you're going to be a super jerk
When I was poor and miserable, I had hope. When I was rich and miserable, I was disappointed
Once the money as a goal is taken away, whatever problems you feel are not external but are largely internal, and then it can be very psychologically challenging
It's strange for the world to see you in a different way
You are the same person to you, and you are a different person to other people
I'm really enjoying opening up about the process of going from being an absolute nobody to micro niche fame and laying the breadcrumbs behind me as I go
You can also be shaped by your audience into a character of your most extreme beliefs and behaviors
Keep your private life private
If you look at your audience size as analogous to a town size or a city size, if you're in a town of a thousand people, how many ‘village crazies’ do you have? One or two. Now you just multiply that once you have an audience the size of yours or of mine. In that group you're going to have some people who have infinite time and unreasonable curiosity about you
Over time, as you have long relationships, and I’ve been really fortunate to have a number of long relationships with amazing people, you learn what seems to work for you, and what seems to not work, which is not automatically a judgment of the other person, it's a judgment of yourself
Respect isn't enough because respect is something that people can demand. It's admiration. If I go on 2 dates with someone, I want to be inclined to tell my friends about her and brag about some aspect of her
I think where you get into trouble and where you end up being really unfair to people is if you are unclear on what you want
Life rewards the specific ask and punishes the vague wish
Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments
Make the implicit explicit
The first two months of dating somebody are unbelievably important for setting expectations
Something is better than nothing
I block out multiple weeks every year to take trips with family and friends
If you have your Saturday workout, or you have your deadlift, you have rock climbing, you have archery, you have whatever it might be in addition to your primary work, in addition to drawing, in addition to your relationship that you're trying to cultivate and deepen, if any one of those things is down just like in a stock portfolio, if they are somewhat uncorrelated, you can still have a good week. If you have a terrible week but then you hit a PR on your Saturday workout, we did it baby. You're hedging your identity; you're hedging your sort of existential investment. It’s very important to me that I have multiple tracks running at the same time so that if one hits a roadblock that it's not just an existential downward spiral
In the wrong groups, loneliness can be a kind of tax you have to pay to atone for a certain complexity of mind, but it also offers you the opportunity. The only way out is through. And through means working maybe a bit harder to find people that are like the people that you want to be around
Loneliness is usually a failure of group activities in your calendar
90% of problems can be fixed by a good night's sleep, a glass of water, a talk with a friend, or a training session
I don't want to look back on a wildly successful life where my cortisol was super high, and I stressed every moment of getting there
Your neurosis is not helping your performance
Observe some of your thought patterns and beliefs that are driving your behaviors
I'm getting very explicit about detailed examples of what I am fearful of and then looking at the likelihoods the probabilities what I could do if they happen to reverse the damage
There's also an art to letting small bad things happen, and practicing letting small bad things happen to prove to yourself that it's not the end of the world
Fiction often describes truth in a stickier way than non-fiction
I really don't have many expensive hobbies. I found expense to be inversely correlated to enjoyment
You should not have a to-do list. You should have everything in your calendar
I'm looking for elegant solutions. Not that I'm an elegant human, but I'm looking for solutions that have the fewest moving pieces
The more complexity you have in a system, the more execution risk there is
My most critical regular practice that helps me with systems and policies and making single decisions that avoid a thousand separate decisions is taking many retirements. It is an old concept, something I’ve practiced for a long time, it is in brief scheduling 3 to 4 weeks of effectively being offline
Don't forget to have fun
In a permissionless environment where you can really embrace the freedom of being able to work whenever you want, wherever you want, for most people what that is going to turn into is working all the time. And you don't have someone to stop you other than yourself. It's much more problematic than you might expect, it's a real risk
If you need to book your workday so that you do not work until 8:00 P.M, have something scheduled with accountability, dinner with friends, going out to rock climb, going out to dance tango. Have something in the calendar that you are committed to going and attending
The discipline and the willpower is loading it up-front to create the systems so that you're not constantly tired from decision fatigue
Anything that you need to do more than once, you might as well do a system for
The urgent will always get in the way of the important
The work's always going to be there, you're going to die with stuff on your to-do list that's undone, every single one of us
If you could look at your calendar from a year ago and figure out which of those things were extremely important to you at the time, and now in retrospect how many of them are completely trivial?
Often what's invisible from the outside are the sacrifices that people are making, the compromises they are making to fixate solely on whatever this competitive driver might be or whatever the scoreboard might be
There are always sacrifices, so try to identify those in the competitive sphere before you jump in
Accept that all of your heroes are full of shit, your heroes aren't Gods, they're just regular people who got good at one thing by sacrificing literally everything else
Loyalty and long relationships I value more than simply intelligence
What you don't realize is that what you like is someone who you can trust. You want somebody who when they say a thing, you reliably believe that they mean the thing, and what that means is you're not looking for someone who tells you what you want to hear, you're looking for someone who tells you the truth
I'm really trying to only idolize or emulate people when I can assess the fabric of the relationship and integrity around them
A melancholy lesson of advancing years is the realization that you cannot make old friends
The positive does not take care of itself
If you have a void because you've let all your hobbies atrophy, you've let relationships atrophy, maybe you're just moving from place to place, so you have no constants. The void will fill itself with more work, because you do not have a compelling replacement
I think there is always market for great
The function of the podcast is not predominantly to make money
Less than 1% of the time do I listen to any current events
There are no solutions, only tradeoffs
Any friends who are more happy for you when you make loads of money and have loads of downloads and aren't more happy for you when you're just fired up about what you're doing aren't particularly good friends
So many young people don't have friends, they have drinking partners. And much of the reason that they drink is because the events that they're attending are so boring that the only way they can get themselves through is to sedate themselves out of realizing just how boring it is
The high performers are usually buckets of neurosis, just like everybody else with some really serious insecurities that maybe they're aware of. They have just figured out how to capitalize on one or two strengths and have been able to create systems so they can focus and leverage those things
So many people underestimate themselves
If you don't think in terms of trying to create a new category for yourself, very often you end up in a red ocean type of scenario
If you are insecure, guess what, the rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself, you are better than you think
If you're the sort of person that can listen to a three-hour podcast and sit and be engaged and be curious and want to improve yourself, and you're considering these sorts of things which we are discussing, you are already in a rarified strata of people
The main thing that's happened is – I just didn't stop. Simply doing a thing more makes you better, regardless of the quality that you do it at
Throughout my 20s and most of my 30s I thought what I was doing was making myself more successful so that I could be more successful. And what I realized was I was making myself into the kind of man that would be the father to my future children
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