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Consciousness is really being awake in the moment to ourselves, because it's really the willingness to have self-awareness, and self-reflection, and self-responsibility so that we can bring our most present connected self to the table

The core of conscious parenting is moving from a fear-based model to more of an awareness-based model

If you use the language of “don't do this, don't do that”, tomorrow she's saying “mommy, don't do that” and you really have to know what you want them to be, because it'll come right back to bite you

It's really about creating a beautiful human being

Kids don't listen to what we say, they do what we do, they demonstrate it

You rarely just bump into great ideas or great solutions, you got to pursue them, you have to decide “what do I want” and we made decisions about what we wanted our child to be like, and what kind of human we wanted to raise before we'd ever met

We sat around and we made lists of what we want, what's the best, what do we want for this child, almost like a values assessment of what would we want this child to be

Your environmental factors and the emotions that you need, you want to outfit your child with that so they have those same survival skills that you do

We want to make sure that she feels like she's here to serve something more than herself

I think our greatest capacity to impact a child is by our own living of the truth

Another principle of conscious parenting is being conscious of the impact of language. One of my favorite examples which is instead of saying “watch out, be careful, be careful, be careful” which teaches the kid “oh my God, the world's a fearful place” to “let's be mindful, here honey, we're going down the stairs, let's be mindful”

If raining is bad and sunny is good, you just took out half your days of happiness, and it's imprinted on a child, and no one has bad intent, but that's the lack of awareness

Everything is teachable

Being scared of the dark – I don't believe it's an intrinsic thing, it's reflected, it's modeled

It really has schooled me, the realization about the imprinting of fear, the imprinting of that helplessness, the imprinting of labeling

Who am I to say that that's anger even if it might look like anger?

Get curious, not furious – “what's going on with this kid?”

Being aware of what we identify. Rather than “honey, are you angry right now?” Who am I to say that? And when you ask that it becomes a natural go-to for them, and pretty soon it's the habit, because language becomes a pattern of thinking and a pattern of emotion

These principles work for any age, and they really start with us, and then they get reflected in our children

We're all doing the best we can and I see the innocence of you know “freak… what am I going to do with this child? Okay I’ll put on a movie, or I’ll give them an iPad, or I’ll give them my phone, because it entertains them. It distracts them but another thing it does is a tendency to almost over stimulation

Not to be over-controlling but to understand that you're also robbing them of their creativity

You don't want to lose the muscle of creativity, and the muscle of imagination that actually produces joy and happiness

The more active the toy, the more passive the child, and the more passive the toy, the more active the imagination of the child

Her favorite thing is “guys, here's what we're going to do, and then she tells us what to do, and we're all galloping along the living room”

She is her own self. Wherever she goes, she's herself

These little children they'll do it because they're being told to do it. But there's another way which is providing a choice, and here's the remarkable thing, you're providing choices or options that help to guide them in a certain direction. You're providing choices and that enables them to choose to use their own intelligence, to be a part of the process, and the ecosystem, and the decision making, and it turns down the volume of a lot of resistance. Choice provides Independence, it provides a space for them to use their own mind, and to be able to create their life

Rather than saying “let's go outside”, I said “mom's considering to go outside and take a big breath to the Moon, would you like to join me” and she said “okay”

Tell me how tell me how you were loved, and I’ll show you how you love now

Are you giving your child a chance to ask for what they want? Or are you like “here's some water, here's a snack, make sure you got your jacket.” Do you even give them a chance to ask and identify their own needs?

All the upset is usually people's fear of losing something they want, or losing what they have, or not getting what they want, and that's true for children as much as it is for adults

If you're busy doing what you're doing, you'll have an impact on your child sometimes not even know what it is

It's really treating children like you would want to be treated yourself and having an awareness of that

Being a parent is the most humbling thing I’ve ever done, it's the most extraordinary

A lot of times somebody else from the outside will see what you don't see

Invite the feedback because that's how we grow

For several decades the culture changed and the mindset. It's all about constantly complimenting your kid, give them a trophy for participating and so forth. But Stanford research has shown why that has not worked. What it does is when you tell somebody they're great, and they're beautiful, and they're perfect all the time, then eventually they get out in the real world, and they find out the rest of the world doesn't agree with that. And when that's true then all of a sudden they lose confidence, and those very people are not willing to initiate anything new

Being a conscious parent – I really believe that it begins with parenting ourselves

Responsibility is ability to respond but you can only do that if you become aware

That's where relationships get destroyed. You can question a lot, but if you question the intent, you pretty much destroy it. Because if someone really does care, and really does love, and you question their intent, that's the thing that would really do damage

Instead of “don't hit”, say “show me kind”

Understanding that the emotion of the moment is not who the person is

We don't even give our kids sometimes a chance to redeem themselves. We've already judged, and juried that they had this bad intent, as opposed to that they're experiencing a wave, and underneath that wave is still that pure intent, and if we can align with that it's like magic, the kid changes so quickly when you see that

Often times it's about our needs, and our wants, and there's no such thing as too much affection in our own eyes, but we have to give space for that child

If your favorite person in the world comes in and you go “oh, it's great to see you” that's wonderful. But if you come back 3 minutes later and say again “hey, it's really great to see you.” It becomes false and fake

Every picture that really actually I find most profound is when she's walking away from me and I feel she's secure

We're not trying to raise an obedient child. We're trying to raise a child that grows up and goes out into the world and can figure things out for themselves

There's no greater gift than to have the privilege of helping a soul in its development at this stage of life, and then to see that soul mature, and grow, and master life, and become a force for good

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