GO TO SPOTIFY (part 1)

GO TO SPOTIFY (part 2)

QUOTES:

I was very sheltered and dependent on parents, and in the time that I spent living with mom, when she was an alcoholic, she wouldn't come home for days on end, she would come home and be incoherent, she would not talk to me, ignore me, she'd always be with a boyfriend at the time, in and out of the bars. I had to learn to take care of myself. […] What I didn't realize was that going through that for those 5 years taught me how to take care of myself and ultimately that I could rely on myself

I'm not sure that I would be able to be the leader I am if I hadn't learned how to lead myself

I need to make the rest of my life so good that it makes all of this worth it because the pain I felt in that moment and for those years was so great and it was also a secret I kept to myself. I didn't tell anybody because I also still loved her and I didn't want to get her in trouble or whatever that meant, but that was what stuck with me, in that moment I thought to myself “you have to be so good that it makes everything worth it” and I think I took that on with me. Now when I go through anything in life I just think to myself “make it worth it, make the dark moments worth it by doing yourself justice and getting to the other side and getting through it and not being a victim of those dark times”

Over 50% of the past that we remember is inaccurate

The more that I focused on working on my future, the less the past had power over me and the less relevant it was to my life

Most therapies should only take six eight weeks, and I think that we created a culture in which people are dependent on therapy so that they can keep coming back and doctors get recurring revenue, so I look at it more as a great business model for a therapist. Is that good for the patient? Probably not

When we feel the true depths of negative human emotions, we do wonder if there's something wrong with us, but that's just life and I think that we live in a society where people label it as there's something wrong with you. And I think I actually fell prey to it for a few years, where therapists were telling me there was something wrong with me. And after that I kind of took a step back, I was like “I think there's something fucking wrong with you because you're labeling me”. And I'm doing all these things to make my life better and you keep telling me why it shouldn't be and why it's okay to feel this way and keep reopening these wounds, and I just noticed it wasn't helping. But what did help every time was that I focused on the future, and I changed my behavior and I didn't allow anything that's ever happened to me in the past to be a reason of why I behave a certain way today

I am not always in control. We don't choose the thoughts and feelings we have some days. We can choose to focus on things. But can I choose if it pops up in my head? No. I can observe it and try not to focus on it but what I can do is that despite what I think and despite what I feel I can change my behavior. And that has been the one thing that has brought me relief in everything because I can feel as bad as I want, but I don't have to act that way

I have just found that continuing to think about things that don't make our lives better just tend not to help us

I found for me that the more that I try to get rid of a feeling the more I feel it

I accept that I'm going to feel awful and I can get really good at feeling awful. In fact, I think that I have mastered feeling awful and that's what people don't get. They're like “how do you do all these things?” I'm really great at doing anything feeling awful. I can speak on stage while I feel awful. I can lead a meeting while I feel awful. I can do a presentation while I feel awful. I can run a book launch while I feel awful. I can do all these things while I feel awful. And I think that most people when they feel awful act awful. They stay in bed, they act depressed, they act how they feel, and what I have found is that that just compounds. The feeling of bad whether it's stress, anxiety, or awfulness, grief etc. you feel more that way because you behave that way. For me what I found is that one eventually I will start to feel less awful if I stop thinking about it and I start doing the thing right because I'm going to be more focused on what I'm doing than how I'm feeling. And then second to that is if I can do something while feeling awful how easy is it to do it when I feel good

It's still hard to do things when you feel awful but I know if you just take the first step and you just commit to this, it will feel easier for the second step

When you're just getting started often times it's not that you lack one skill or even two, but you might lack three or four or five skills and the only thing in my opinion that can get you past that wall is having the tenacity and having the work ethic to be able to do all at the same time

I grew up with my father telling me nothing is worth doing if you don't enjoy it

My dad always said follow your passion, do what you love, do what you can to help other people, and I would do that at the sacrifice of myself. And I think that was where that went wrong – I wasn't taking care of myself, I wasn't giving myself the oxygen mask first. And then I met Alex and he said “why on Earth can you not have both, why can't you do things you love and have passion over, and also make money?”

Alex has this way of when he doesn't want to do something he is encouraging somebody else to get the thing done

She is just as able as you to do these things in business. If ever try to help her too much, then she won't believe in herself and you're going to rob her of that. And he really in the hardest times when I might be complaining, when I might be saying “I don't know how to do this, I can't figure this out.” All Alex ever did was encourage me “yes, you can, you can figure this out, you don't need me”

That's all I’ve ever wanted is somebody who can make me better and not use my moments of weakness as an advantage for themselves

A lot of people when they see somebody who has so much power, they just think I want them to have less so that I can feel like I have more

I've learned more from him than anybody else in my entire life, and I think we've been able to do that for each other which is I know that there's a lot of ways in which being married to each other benefits each of us and I think it takes time to figure out what that is but for me that's been what it is that I have always aired towards the side of insecure and quiet and by marrying him I’ve been able to find my voice and be much louder

It is just as hard to start a small business as it is to start a big business

I'm happier when I'm in motion, when I'm striving for something, when I'm doing something, when I'm trying to achieve a goal, and I think at the end of the day living a life just being relaxed and not striving for anything, and not trying to improve myself does not make a lot of the hard times worth it. And I think building something really epic and cool that can make the world better does

We have one business that we start off with and it is a book publishing business and we look at that business and we say “it's a good business, there's good returns, but what could we do to make this a more exciting business, or even increase the market cap.” Well… we could turn it into technology business so we could take the way that we teach people to publish books and we could build it into technology that makes for a more sellable business, a more scalable business, and it creates a business that has a much larger TAM [Total Addressable Market] than just a publishing business

It's either going to be easy in the beginning and harder later on, or it is harder in the beginning and easier later on

Not just looking at businesses but looking at the founders that run those businesses is so incredibly important, because often times one of the biggest reasons people can't build their business to the height that they would like to is simply because of who they are. They are not of good great enough character or skill that they cannot attract anybody with greater character or skill

A lot of the times that I see people really struggling with the hate they get online it's because in some way they agree with it

When you blame other people, you steal from yourself, you rob yourself of the opportunity to do anything about the situation. Is it somebody else's fault? Maybe. Is it still your problem to deal with? Yes

A lot of time is wasted trying to figure out who we need to blame rather than just getting to the solution

I don't try to be rigid in terms of what I do in the morning and at night and at this time and this time. I try to look at my calendar and say where I can fit this in. And that is what works for me. When I’ve tried to be rigid in the past about how my routine looks and how my schedule looks it ends up in me being much more stressed. But if I approach it with how can I be flexible and still get everything done, I feel much more relieved at the end of the day

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