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In three generations, everyone who knew us will be dead, including the people whose opinions stopped you from doing what you wanted all along. Imagine that someone you know achieves every dream and hits every goal they have. Years later, they get old and die. Two years after that, how much do you care? About as much as everyone else will if you accomplish your goals and dreams—do it for you.

Don't follow what most people do, because you don't want the results that most people get. The average person is obese, likely to be divorced, and has less than $1K in the bank. It feels safe to do what everyone else is doing, but it's actually a terrible decision. The best way to guarantee you won’t have the life you want is to do what everyone else is doing.

The bigger the dragon you have to slay, the more evidence you have that you can slay the next dragon.

The life you want is on the other side of a few hard conversations. You're living a life you hate because you're too afraid to have them. Whenever I feel anxious, insecure, angry, or sad, I ask myself: What conversation am I avoiding?

The heaviest things in life aren't iron and gold but unmade decisions. The reason you are stressed is that you have decisions to make, and you're not making them.

When you have an unmade decision, every second you spend thinking about it is time you could have gotten back had you just made the decision. Realizing this justifies eating frogs earlier in the day—answering that email, for example. The longer you wait, the more times you'll think, "I need to answer that email." If what truly matters is how we spend our time and attention, then every moment spent dwelling on an unmade decision is time and attention stolen by something that could have been resolved.

You can move through life at seven times the rate of others by simply changing when you decide. Instead of saying, "I'll decide by the end of the week," say, "I'll decide by the end of the day." Think about how that stacks up. If a normal person takes a week to make a decision, they move on to the next source of anxiety, make that decision in another week, and so on—it takes a month to make four decisions. Meanwhile, the "Superman" who makes one decision per day finishes all four in four days. By the time the normal person finishes one cycle, the high-agency person is four weeks ahead.

The upside of never trying is never having to feel the pain of failure.

Opportunity cost is baked into existence. You don't get to split-test life. By doing one thing, you can't do another. If I choose to go to the gym, I can't go to the theme park. Even if going to the gym was the right decision, I'll always have the open loop of "Yeah, but what if I'd gone to the theme park?" Regrets are unavoidable. They're not proof of bad decisions; they're a byproduct of opportunity cost. So instead of asking, "What do I want?" ask, "Which regret could I live with?"

How can I guarantee that when I step off stage, no matter what happens, I feel like I've accomplished something? That I've done a good job? That I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "Good work"?

Work as hard as you can at one thing for a year and see what happens.

The biggest reason I've had significantly larger returns or outcomes later in my career is because the minimum standard for how much work I know I can do has multiplied a hundredfold. I look at the first presentations I ever gave and remember thinking they were good—25 slides with a heading and three bullets each. Now, I measure in hundreds of hours. How many hundreds of hours have you put towards something? If you do that, I promise the thing you're making will get a lot better.

You've already achieved goals you once thought would make you happy.

One of my most powerful motivational frames is thinking about the person I want to become as the destination. I want to be bulletproof—in my marriage, in my business, etc. I think about that man, whoever I want him to be. Like we said, hell is when you look at who you could have been and realize you're not that person. Then I think, if I were to make that man, what would I put him through to shape him? It wouldn't be easy times or quick wins. It would be the toil and struggle of reaching for things just beyond my grasp, lifting the weight, breaking down, and doing it over and over again. That’s what creates the character traits of the man I want to be. So, when I'm going through hard times, I like to look in my mental mirror and think, "I'm making you. I'm not there yet, but I'm making you." That has helped me get through some of the hardest times.

In Gladiator, the movie opens with a little bird on a bow, surrounded by leaves. Then, the camera zooms out to reveal a brutal war scene. It’s a reminder that no matter how tough the moment is, you can always find a fragment of beauty if you shift your focus.

I didn’t need to deserve success. I could still have it if I did the things that created success. That realization felt like a cheat code. I could be a shitty person, horrible at everything, but if I worked out and ate a certain way, I could still achieve a certain outcome. It was my first foothold toward success: I didn’t need to deserve it—I could have it anyway. That was empowering.

One of the biggest mental breakthroughs I had was defining emotions operationally. Sadness comes from a lack of options—or rather, a lack of perceived options—which is why it feels like hopelessness. When I realized that sadness meant I didn't know what to do, I redefined it as ignorance, and ignorance is solvable. Now, whenever I feel sad, it triggers me to ask, "What do I not know? What option do I not see?" The opposite of that is anxiety, which comes from having many options and few priorities—you have many paths but don’t know which one to take. Understanding these emotions changed everything. If you feel sad, it means you need to learn more. Learning more becomes the option, and suddenly, sadness is unnecessary. That realization was one of the biggest breakthroughs for my mental health—it set me free. I've spent a lot of time operationalizing emotions so I can either get out of them or lean into them.

Choosing the plan isn't hard. Doing the plan isn't hard. Sticking to the plan is hard.

And?

I’ve never regretted trying harder at anything, ever. Hard times last long, but an epic story feels like a lifetime.

A lot of personal development, self-growth, and business advice romanticize even the bad times. But they’re not romantic. It feels like hell. It feels like failure. Like nobody cares about you. Like you don’t even know if there will ever be glory in retrospect. Yeah, it feels despondent, destitute, sad, and alone. The Rocky cut scene lasts 30 seconds in the movie, but it can last five years in your life.

Refusing to play by rules you didn’t agree to is the best way to avoid stepping into situations you don’t want.

Learning isn’t a spectator sport. It comes from doing. If you're not applying what you consume, you're not learning—you're procrastinating.

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