QUOTES:

I'm pretty sure that you've messed up. The reason I'm pretty sure is because you're human, all right, and we're all humans. You have either messed up, or one day you're going to mess up, or somebody else you're connected to is going to mess up. This is going to apply to you from one side or another—today, yesterday, or tomorrow.

You've messed up. Now what? I don't know what your mess-up is. You might have cheated on someone. You might have messed up at work. You might have driven home drunk and gotten into a wreck, or at least been stopped and gotten a ticket. You might have done something very bad and very human, and now it's eating you up. It's about to destroy you. So you messed up. Now what? What do you do now? Where do you go from here? Is there a tomorrow? Well, yes.

I'm going to lay some things out for you. If you've messed up, the very first step, the very first thing you have to do, is stop. Whatever it is you did, don't do it anymore. I shouldn't even have to say that, but that's the first thing. These days, it's common for someone to do something wrong, say "I'm sorry," then go back and do it again, say "I'm sorry," and go back and do it again. After a while, you realize they weren't really sorry. They were never sorry to start with. There’s a big difference between being sorry for doing something and being sorry for getting caught. There’s also a big difference between not wanting to do something and not wanting to get caught doing something.

For you to get past this and get through it, the first thing you have to do is stop doing it. You have to quit.

I don’t care how you feel. Feelings and morality are not the same thing. We do not deal in situational ethics. We stop doing what is wrong because it’s wrong.

You get to the place where you’re sick and tired of hurting those around you, sick and tired of being that person, and you stop because stopping is the right thing to do. Until you stop, nothing else counts. It doesn’t count. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t count. So you stop—whatever it is.

Second, you own it. Your decision is your decision. Again, this whole situational ethics idea—this notion that the situation makes it okay to go ahead and do something—is an excuse. There’s no excuse.
"Well, yeah, but—"
No. There’s no "yeah, but." There’s no excuse. There is absolutely no excuse for getting behind the wheel of a car if you’ve had a drink. None. There are Ubers, there are taxis, there are friends, there are two dang feet. There is no excuse. There’s no excuse for cheating on a significant other. None.
"They’re cold and distant."
"So, well, they cheated on me."
They did something you find despicable, so you’re going to turn around and use that as an excuse to do it back? Congratulations. You just descended to the level of what you hate.

It doesn’t matter what they did. It doesn’t matter how you were feeling. It doesn’t matter how bad your day at work was. It doesn’t matter who was texting you. It doesn’t matter who was calling you. It doesn’t matter who’s in the White House. It doesn’t matter who’s in the doghouse. If you did wrong, you did it. Own it.

You’ll never get past it until you own it. You cannot get over it. You cannot get victory over it. You cannot move past it unless it’s yours. And it’s not yours unless you own it.

Second, admit it to others. You admit it to yourself, you own it. Go and confess it and apologize. All right. It doesn’t just have to be cheating or infidelity; it could be anything. All right, you’re at work, you’re driving a company truck, a forklift, or a tractor. You run it into a ditch and break it. All right. Nobody knows who was out driving, nobody knows who did it. You know who did it. Go to the boss and say, "Look, that was me. I did that."
“What happened?”
“I was texting while I was driving and wasn’t paying attention. I did it.”
Now, you might lose your job. All right. You may walk out of that office without a job, but you’ll walk out of there with a backbone and some self-respect. It’ll be easier next time for you to stand up, man up, and admit, "I did it, and I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t done it, but I cannot deny I did it. I apologize, and whatever my punishment is, I’ll take it."

Whatever my punishment is, I’ll take it. I’ll deal with the consequences of my actions.

There’s this very foolish thought, a very foolish saying going around in the world: that love means not having to say “I’m sorry.” Put that garbage out of your head. All right. A close, true friend today is very precious. It’s very hard to find a soulmate, a lover, a true one. They are very precious, very hard to find. They are to be protected, treasured, and taken care of. When you wrong them, if there’s anybody on this planet you owe an apology to, it’s the person closest to you, the person who stands beside you the tightest. They are the ones you owe the apology to the most because they are the ones you owe the most to.

Confess it, apologize for it, and make it right—whatever it takes.

Forgive yourself. When you’ve gone through and done what needs to be done and made it right—as right as you can make it to everyone that you need to make it right to—and you don’t need to make it right to everybody because you didn’t harm everybody, but those you need to make it right to—once you’ve done that and left it behind, forgive yourself.

The past is the past, and you’ve got to leave the past in the past. Until you can walk away from the past, you cannot have a future. You cannot live in the past and the future at the same time.

There’s nothing in this life that will destroy you faster than being unable to forgive yourself for your wrongdoings.

It’s hard when those we love and those around us cannot forgive us for our wrongdoings. That’s hard enough. But when you cannot forgive yourself, that’s not survivable. That’s not survivable. All right.

The you that was you yesterday is not the you that is you today—unless it is.

Yeah, you messed up, but it’s not the end of the world it seems, and it’s not the end of the world that others would try to make it seem.

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