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I was born in Oklahoma. Like most kids, who their parents are tends to shape who they grow up to become—the relationship they have with them, the love they get. My mom left when I was two. Usually, dads roll out, but my mom left, so I was raised as a pretty cold kid. I think moms can instill love in their kids, so without that, I didn’t have manners. I mean, you'd agree, men usually don’t teach their kids manners; dads teach toughness.

When I say "poor," I mean, we didn’t live in the ghetto, but we never had anything extra. If I asked my dad for five bucks, there was no money for that. I’m not going to say “poor” because some people live “poor poor.” But we just didn’t have anything; there was no extra money.

I have five brothers and sisters, so growing up it was kids raising kids. And I'm super glad I was raised that way because, number one, we were poor, and I knew we were looked at differently. I don’t think life is fair. Because I didn’t get much love as a kid—and this isn’t like a victim deal—I craved it as an adult. So now, I shower people with love all the time. I think it’s because I didn’t get it as a kid, so I want to give it now. Your biggest void becomes your biggest value.

Seventh grade—the first time I remember—my friend’s mom was like, “Oh, we’re all going to dinner, so we need to drop the kids off.” They would always drop me off first, even though I lived the furthest away. I finally realized the parents didn’t want me hanging out with their kids because I was poor and didn’t have a lot of manners. I wasn’t a bad kid; I just didn’t have anyone to look up to or a good leader.

Everybody’s qualified for a badass life. If you suffer as a kid, you usually kill it as an adult. If you have an easy life as a kid, it’s often harder as an adult because you haven’t suffered yet.

My dad said, “Get a job; stay out of jail.” I was rebelling, trying to fit in, but I never fit in. But they don’t make statues of people who fit in.

Once you find something you’re interested in, you’re going to kill it. I just needed something to plug into, a good leader. I needed a boat to row in and a good leader at the front of the boat.

I worked construction because a tornado wiped our whole town out. I worked construction for one month. That was the worst job of my life, man. I picked up bricks, broken stuff. I had fiberglass all over me. They worked me like crazy, paid me $100 a week to work from 6:00 in the morning until midnight, seven days straight. I needed the money, but I thought, this sucks.

Someone said, “You’re pretty good at talking, why don’t you sell cars?” I thought, if I made $5,000, I’d be rich. I’d never had five dollars in my hand at one time. He said, “Done. I’ll pick you up at 7:00 a.m., you’re going to shut the gate with me at 11:00 p.m., and I’ll give you clothes to wear.” I showed up the first day, went outside, and found an easy deal. My manager told me, “Get a credit app on him.” I remember it like yesterday. I got the credit app, and my manager said, “This guy’s gold.” I thought, this is good. I didn’t know anything about money, but I learned really quick. At 18, I started killing it. I learned quickly that anything that’s a skill can be taught. If it can be taught, I can learn it. I became addicted to learning and got psycho about it because I made my first commission. How old was I? I was 18. The guy asked, “What’s the interest rate?” and, I swear, I said, “The interstate.” It sounds funny, but I like to tell people that you can be so lost, and if you fall in love with self-development and learning, you’ll become dangerous. The guy looked at me, and I wasn’t trying to scam him. I didn’t have “commission breath” or anything; I just didn’t understand. I told him, “Let me ask my manager.” He said, “No, I’m okay, Andy. I’ll do option A.” The guy signed it, and my manager told me to get him to finance. Everything started moving fast. I got the car washed, and my manager said, “Andy, you know how much money you just made?” He goes, “You just made $1,700,” and I remember at that point, I almost got emotional because I didn’t understand. He’s like, “You just made $1,700. Since it’s the last day of the month and tomorrow’s the first day, I’m going to give you a check for $1,700.” He adds, “Also, Andy, you got the high gross of the month.” I ask, “What’s that?” and he goes, “The deal you made grossed the most commission money for the whole month. That’s why when they signed the paper, we were all running around—we couldn’t believe that on your first day, you got the biggest deal all month, and you didn’t even know what you were doing. And you said ‘the interstate’—we heard you. We were laughing, but you closed it!” He goes, “Andy, you believed, bro. You’re dangerous, man. What you just did, if you get good with that belief, you’re dangerous.” And I thought, Dude, I like how you’re talking to me—I never had anybody talk to me like this. He continues, “Since you got the high gross of the month, you’re also going to get $500 cash tomorrow morning in the meeting.” So, the next day in the meeting, they say, “Andy Elliott, first day, $1,700 plus $500 cash.” Everyone was like, “Oh my God!” Then I realized I got lucky. I went a week without selling anything and got rejected. My manager goes, “Listen, dude, you got lucky. You got a laydown; that’s what happened. Now you’re going to have to get trained. You’ve got to learn how to communicate. You stutter a little bit, and you’ve got to stop stuttering. You need to learn to speak, write down these word tracks, and understand the top five objections we get every day: ‘I need to think about it,’ ‘I need to talk to my wife,’ ‘Payments are too high,’ ‘Price is too high,’ and ‘I want more for my trade.’ These things come up every day.” He goes, “Dude, you’re going to get smacked every day. How many times are you going to get smacked before you learn to overcome this?” He says, “We’re going to role-play and practice shaking hands every single day for an hour in the conference room.” So, I shook hands every day for an hour straight with my manager. “How you doing? It’s Andy, welcome to the store, welcome to our home.” I did this every day. People laughed at me and made fun of me. I took my first paycheck and went to a Grant Cardone seminar. I took every dollar I had because I knew this was my way out. Just so anybody understands: sales will get you rich. Sales and leadership will give you a rich life. I learned all the word tracks, learned how to speak, and understood moral authority—if I believed in what I was doing, others would believe in me. I started walking around with my chest out, talking differently, nodding my head, using my hands more, and smiling with my eyes and teeth. I’d walk up to anybody, anywhere. My manager even took me to the mall. He was a psycho. He goes, “You’re going to walk in here, shake 500 people’s hands, laugh with them, and then shake someone else’s hand. I’m going to teach you to master a stranger. If you can master strangers, you’re going to be my top guy.”

I believe the greater your personal life is, the happier you are with yourself.

I always learned that when I was taking care of myself and staying physically fit, I did well in all these other areas and achieved at a high level. When I wasn’t taking care of my physical self, I was subpar in other areas. My fitness was a true testament to how I performed in these other areas. If I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, it’s hard for me to show love to others; it’s hard not to get in my own way and not sabotage myself.

I never wanted to get promoted. They always wanted to make me the manager or boss, but I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s results. I enjoyed getting my own results; I enjoyed the thrill of the kill. I was a lion—I wanted to hunt and eat what I killed. I was scared because, say, I got 25% commission, but as a team leader, I’d only get 2% on 25 people. And these guys didn’t seem as hungry as I was, so I’d have to rely on them. I thought, “Hell no, I like winning for me.” When I got with my wife, she said, “It’s time for you to go to the next level.” That’s when leadership came in.

I’ve been burned, and I’ve burned people. I’ve screwed people over, and they’ve screwed me over. I’ve lied, cheated, and been cheated on. Hurt people hurt people, and I was a very hurt person my whole life. I hurt a lot of people. My wife was my saving grace. She was the mother I needed, the heart I needed. She was the one who said, “You’re a good man, a good guy, a good person—you’re going to do big things.”

What value is there in making a lot of money if you’re around people who don’t treat their wives well?

You’re a product of who you’re around. I almost became a cult leader in my company, establishing a standard—a cult for good. Like, don’t cheat on your girl, be good to your family, do things right. My wife taught me to create an environment of good things, the opposite of what I grew up with. My first ten years in the car business were crap: lots of money, bad person. I’ll be honest with you—for real. I wouldn’t have wanted to hang out with me back then.

You have to tie an emotion, an anchor. If you want to go from A to B, you’ve got to figure out why you want to get there, tie some emotion to it, and anchor it to something that really pisses you off. So if you don’t want to keep pushing when it’s hard, if you know you need to do this but don’t want to, ask yourself why you’d do it anyway, even when no one else would. When you want to quit but don’t quit, what it’s anchored to is something that really just pisses you off.

My friend’s mom stares right at me and says, “You’re a liar. You’re poor, you’re a piece of shit, and you’re a liar. I don’t like you hanging around my son. You’re a bad influence. You’re poor, and you’re not coming in our house this weekend.” I was there for a week. She goes, “You’re sleeping on the porch. You’re not coming in, I’m not even playing. You’re not eating any food in this house; you’re on your own.” Sleeping on that porch for a week was the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned that I was on my own, and I stayed on my own until I met my wife.

I just know if someone can teach it to me, I can learn it.

My wife said, “If you ever cheat on me, for any reason—if you get drugged, if you get drunk, if we have kids—if you ever cheat on me, you will never talk to me again, ever. You’ll never hear from me again.” She’s Mexican, and she’s like, “You’ll never see me; I swear to God. I’m giving you the power to hurt me, trusting you that you won’t. I’m telling you I’ve been hurt my whole life; you’ve been hurt too. So I need you to make a commitment you’re not gonna hurt me.” And I thought, “Oh my God, I gotta grow up now.” So I grew up. Greatest thing I ever did—that’s how I became a good leader.

I’ve met every big influencer, and 99% of them, I don’t want to be. I see the look—they preach taking care of your wife, and they yell at them behind the camera. They say, “Be close to your kids,” but they’re not close to their kids. They put them on electronics and travel.

If you’re around someone who tells you the truth and pushes you, that person loves you. If you’re around people who don’t push you and allow you to stay the same, those people don’t care about you. And most of the time, we try to please those people.

Didn’t she marry me for the ride of a lifetime? Or did she marry me to become a dud, get fat, get out of shape, not take care of her, become a loser?

I’m super direct with everyone in our company. I don’t walk on eggshells. You know what that means? If you’re doing something I don’t like, I’m going to tell you. Now, I’m not a jerk; my heart’s on my sleeve. I’m like, “Dude, I love you; you know I care about you.” But I’ll ask, “Look, do you think what you did makes you respect yourself more? Does it help the company raise its standards? Is that your core values that you believe in?”

My wife, yeah, no—she said, “I learned to live without you.” And even though, she’s got a paid-off car, paid-off houses, a badass handbag, a purse full of cash. She has her own life; she built her dream home. My wife, she’s said, “Dude, I married you because you were going to be a badass, someone I could look up to. I see you motivating your team—you don’t motivate us. I see you having your sales meetings with your team—you don’t even motivate your kids.” And I’m like, “I don’t like this.” And she’s like, “It’s the truth.”

I used to come home at 11:00 at night, and my wife would keep our kids up until I got home. Her friends would say, “I can’t believe you keep your kids up till 11 at night,” and my wife would say, “It’s unhealthy for my kids to grow up without a dad.”

When you sit in shit for long enough, it doesn’t stink anymore.

Rule number one, make sure you marry a badass partner—make sure you marry one. Find someone great to do life with, listen to them, and tell them, "Babe, if you ever see me stepping out of line, please tell me. If I ever become ungrounded, tell me." Please give them permission to correct you when they see you doing wrong.

We do not lie in this house.

It's not about who you are; it's about who you become.

99% of people in this world can't retain their people; 99% of companies can't retain their people. Why? Because they don't take care of them. Their people look for better opportunities elsewhere. Dude, try to go recruit one of my guys—they don’t work for money; they work for blood, sweat, and tears. I would die for my team.

I pay my people generously because I want them to have a really nice life. I want them to be taken care of, to be good. They have to work hard and care. I don’t need them; I want them. They don’t need me; they should want me. They should want this company. We should want these things, so we all protect it.

99% of the people I’ve ever hired still work here with me. They’ve been with me for four or five years. We’re family; we do life together. They break records every single month; they kick ass. Their families, wives, and kids are all happy. Everybody has a great personal life, and we kick ass in business. You should see the way they take care of our customers. Dude, if you don’t take care of your people, do you think your people will take care of your customers? I’ll pay more for my people to have a great life and take better care of my customers. Don’t pay them less, then be surprised when they work for someone else in two years.

I believe in people sometimes more than they believe in themselves. I think I can make everybody make it. It’s always been a problem for me. Some people just give up on others easily. If they don’t hit their quota, I’m always like, "No, dude, I’m going to take another run with this guy." Not giving up on people is one of my hardest things. Sometimes, I should probably give up on someone, but I just find it really hard.

If I push you really hard, successful people would say that person really cares about you. That’s why they’re pushing the hell out of you; they want you to max out your potential. They don’t want you to cheat yourself.

How to improve? The old you, the old programmed you, that old loser piece of shit—that person you hate, that person you’re not proud of, the one who failed everybody—that guy is dead. He can’t come out anymore. So, like I said, don’t change back. It’s like running a 26-mile marathon, getting to mile 10, then turning back to the starting line. Come on, man.

I’m a collector of people. I find people I really like, then I find a way to keep them next to me forever, because that energy is important. I need it. Think about this: I’m around a hundred people every day who are fire-breathing dragons. They love life, love people, live for a bigger purpose than themselves, love God, want their wives or husbands to admire them, and want their kids to look up to them as heroes. They take care of themselves physically, wake up before the sun, self-develop, and study all day long. They watch their words, listen carefully, and prioritize everything in their lives. They don’t drink, don’t party, don’t hang out with bad people, aren’t toxic, and don’t let shit come out of their mouths. They’re ultra-protective of this life.

Self-develop until you die.

They don’t give trophies for balance; they give trophies for results.

The standard applies in family life, in the community, and in your business.

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