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QUOTES:

I was a little angry when Mike Myers was doing Shrek. I said “he’s not even Scottish”, but wait.. he’s also not an ogre…

It’s difficult to make standup in Las Vegas because most people don’t want to be there

I was a wooden boy, then I became a boy, and then I became a skeleton

Ghost Rider is the American entertainment. A skeleton, who rides a motorcycle, who’s on fire. If you can make a better movie than that, I don’t think you can

It was the purest form of improv

One of the things that I didn’t understand for a long time, I don’t think I really understood it until the show was really over, that if your name is on the show, you’re in charge.

We were part of the golden age of late-night. It’s more controlled now

If it was just an hour a day of doing the show, I could do it forever. But it’s not only the hour, it’s all the other stuff

I was that guy for a while who couldn’t be happy for other people’s success

In show business they don’t care what you did yesterday, what are you fucking doing right now?

It’s impossible for a dog to shit the bed

I’m 60 years old, I’m still trying to figure out what to do

When you became Geoff, that entity, to me it’s when the show became the show.

We had a great makeup artist on the show, but he was color blind. When he was preparing me, he would say “I hope this is right”

Your power to make me laugh is unmatched. No one can make me laugh like you

Every night producers would walk by me and go “so listen… Craig is in a terrible mood. The audience has been waiting outside for 4 hours in the sun so… it’s all on you. Have a good show.” It was baptism by fire. It incorporated my love of late-night TV and puppets. You couldn’t look for a better job description

When I knew you were in emotional pain, cause I knew you were having some breakup, I would say to Michael, the producer:

-How is he?

-Oh… he’s having some hard time with the girlfriend

-It’s gonna be really fucking funny tonight

People would ask me “how’s your boss?” and I would say “he’s not my boss, he’s my friend”

You walk in the building every day. Your picture is everywhere, pictures of me all around, my name is written on the envelopes, and bits of paper, my name, my name, my face, my face. 150 people and all they’re doing all day is kissing your ass, and it made me insane. I felt I couldn’t trust anyone, I felt like I was so uncomfortable in my skin. I was kinda paranoid. And like you, I couldn’t process this, I don’t know what to do. And that’s why I left. I didn’t like leaving the money but there comes a point…

We weren’t trying to be offensive. We were just free